i know this kind of addled retrospection has become old hat lately, but here i go: 2017 seems both multiple lifetimes away and still all too recent. i released this album on my birthday that year: three years after my first major depressive breakdown, two years after pinning a great deal of the ensuing emotional avalanches on gender dysphoria, and a year after beginning to medically and socially transition. it was a milestone for me, musically and emotionally. i immediately retired my music alias, scrubbed a lot of my internet presence, buggered off to japan for a while, and began another slow process of reinvention, desperate to become someone new, someone better.

with time, i’ve come to a kind of détente with the army of my old selves. the further apart we drift, i come to see our similarities clearer; i can see what they were trying to do, for themselves and for me, the future they were always waiting for. if they could make this album for me - one that i do still love, despite my fear, my self-doubt, and the persistent nagging thought that i could tweak the mix a little more - i owe them some gesture of thanks.

so here i am, re-releasing this album into the Marumaru canon; formally tying a part of me i’d once severed back on to the main body. i’ve ignored that nagging doubt for now (one must learn to live with one's mix decisions!), but have opted for a gentle re-master, and proper capitalisation. baby's growing up.

i know now that i'm an eternal work in progress, and nothing i make may ever be finished for good, least of all myself. i look at photos of myself from the past and see a stranger; but i can still hear myself, my real self, that silent centre, in these songs.
thanks for listening, especially those of you who were here for round one of this thing. stay tuned for brighter things to come, as always.
- avery, jan 2023